Epilogue Read online

  “No. It’s just us. Claudia and Rubio are each spending time with their families. They’re only going to see each other for part of the day because Rubio’s family lives in Madrid. Claudia invited us to go over to her mom’s house, but I didn’t figure you’d want to go. Honestly, I don’t feel like going either. We might all get together on Christmas Eve, though. Why do you ask?”

  I took her hand and led her into the flow of bodies, making our way toward the next block of shopping. It had been her idea to go shopping, but Livvie had yet to purchase a single thing.

  “I’ve never celebrated Christmas. I haven’t celebrated a lot of holidays, actually. I thought since I liked your Thanksgiving, I might… branch out.”

  “Oh yeah?” Livvie said excitedly. “That’s great, Sexy! Now I feel bad for not getting you a gift yet. We’ll have to do it up right if it’s your first Christmas. I figured you didn’t celebrate it, so I didn’t want to push the subject. If you weren’t into it, no reason for me to celebrate.”

  I noticed the undercurrent of sadness in Livvie’s voice and suspected it had something to do with her lack of family. I was oddly tempted to ask about them. I didn’t much care for her mother, but I knew she had siblings and I didn’t know if she spoke to them or not. Then again, her having a relationship with her family didn’t necessarily bode well for me.

  “You’ve already given me more than I’ve ever had. You wouldn’t want to spoil me, would you?” I flashed my most suggestive grin. Livvie looked at me sidelong.

  “I wouldn’t dream of spoiling you. You’re a big enough pain as it is.”

  “I’m sorry, I thought I was gentle.” I braced for the punch I knew I was coming. She can be such a violent little thing.

  “Don’t be gross!” she admonished. It was difficult to take her seriously while she was laughing. “I wonder if there’s still time to get a tree. Usually people put them up after Thanksgiving, but there has to be a lot somewhere that sells them. I’ll ask Claudia. She usually knows where to go for stuff. I mean, I’ve learned a bunch since I’ve been here, but like, I’m not from here so I need help sometimes. Ha! This one time I got lost…” Livvie seemed completely engrossed in the art of one-sided conversation. I admit it, I tuned out a little. I thought I had learned the various sides to Livvie while in Mexico, but I was beginning to feel as though I’d only scratched the surface. I rather liked the idea of new discoveries—even when the discovery was that Livvie could be as much of a rambler as Claudia.

  “I was thinking of something else entirely,” I broke in. Livvie halted, much to the chagrin of the pedestrians behind us trying to get upstream with the other salmon.

  “What were you thinking?” She looked somewhat perturbed and I wasn’t sure why.

  “What’s that face for?”

  She shook her head and pasted on a saccharine smile.

  “Nothing. Nothing. It’s just… what were you going to say?” She smiled a bit more genuinely.

  “You were thinking something. Just tell me what it was.” I took a sip from my coffee. I’d never been much of a coffee drinker, but it was slowly growing on me. Livvie usually had some with her breakfast. She blew out a breath.

  “I don’t know, I thought you might say something about… visiting friends of yours. Or something.”

  “Wow,” I said. “You think I have friends? Friends I would want to spend holidays with, no less.” I had to laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of it.

  “Well, not friends, but… you know people.” She lifted an ebony brow and tilted her head to the side with suspicion.

  “I’ve left all that behind, Livvie. You know that,” I said evenly.

  “I thought you were going to call me Sophia from now on.” She looked down at her shoe and kicked at an imaginary rock.

  “That question wasn’t exactly meant for James, was it?” I kept my tone pleasant.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry, James.” She stepped closer and playfully kicked at the tip of my shoe with her sneakered foot. “You forgive me? Do I still get my surprise?”

  I chuckled because I had no other recourse. I had come to understand our relationship would be riddled with moments where the past sucked all the joy out of the present. My only hope was that with enough time, Livvie and I would build memories capable of trumping our beginning.

  “Yes, on both counts. I’m much too excited about your gift to let you ruin it for us.”

  Livvie looked up at me with a glare that quickly became a smile.

  “It’s for both of us, eh? It’s not lingerie, is it? Because that’s more for you than it is me. I’m not saying I won’t wear it, but I’m going to insist I get other presents too.”

  “You’re ridiculous.” I started walking and Livvie quickly fell into step next to me.

  “You’re sexy,” she whispered as she dragged my arm across her shoulders. It made for awkward walking, but I didn’t mind.

  “Yes, I know. It’s a curse. Anyway, I was hoping you could take the week of Christmas off from work. I want to take you to Paris.” I pulled her close and placed a kiss on the top of her head. The pink fuzz from her hat stuck to my lips. I lifted my arm from her shoulders and picked it off.

  From the corner of my eye, I observed an older man watching me and Livvie. I wouldn’t have noticed him, except he was alone and without shopping bags—or anything in his hands at all. He caught me watching and tilted his head in greeting before turning to look at a window display. I warily pulled my attention back toward Livvie. The old man wasn’t anyone I knew and he hardly looked dangerous. I had left the world of intrigue behind. Old men were only old men.

  “Paris? You are so damn sweet when you want to be. I’ve already been to Paris though—last year.” She bounced as she walked happily. “I can probably get the time off work, though. It’s late for requests, but Giovanni is pretty good about that kind of thing. I’m a student, so I don’t think he expects too much out of me.”

  “Giovanni—is he handsome?” She seemed surrounded by men sometimes: Reed, Marco, Rubio, and now Giovanni.

  “Only in that tall, dark, and foreign kind of way. Not my cuppa, really.” She grinned.

  “Asshole.” I swatted her ass as we walked. People were beginning to stare at us while we walked. I thought of the old man and started to feel better about him watching us. It was more than possible that Livvie and I were simply drawing attention to ourselves. Some people even seemed to enjoy our antics. “Anyway, I know you’ve been to Paris before. I read about it in that email you sent to your friend.”

  “Don’t remind me,” Livvie said.

  “I am reminding you. It didn’t seem like you had very much fun while you were in Paris. You were lonely and some bastard stole your wallet. I thought we could go together and make new memories. I’ve never really played the tourist before. It could be fun. What do you think?” I took several swallows of coffee, pleased it had sufficiently cooled.

  Livvie’s eyes told me all I needed to know. They were bright and excited.

  “I think… you’re amazing, James. No one makes me as happy as you do.” She hooked her arm in mine and rested her head on my arm. She let out a little sigh of contentment that warmed me better than the coffee.

  “It’s settled then. I’ll make all the arrangements. We’ll stay at the best hotel and eat at the best restaurants. We’ll see all the best things and have the best sex.” I was shockingly giddy. I’d never been the type before. I tried not to overthink it despite the niggling worry always running in the background of my thoughts that warned me how dangerous happiness could be.

  “And I’ll be with the best boyfriend ever!” Livvie did a little hop and spilled coffee onto her mitt and sleeve. “Ah, boo! My glove is all wet. Oh well, at least it didn’t burn my hand.”

  We stopped at the next trash bin and tossed the coffee. Livvie stood still as I wiped her off as best I could with my gloved hands. Once finished, I pulled off my gloves and put them in the garbage along with hers.

>   “That’s the first time you’ve called me your boyfriend,” I mentioned softly. “We’ll buy new gloves in that shop over there.” I pointed. “It wouldn’t hurt to find some outfits for Paris. I rather like the idea of you in lingerie.” I bent down and kissed her lips. Livvie took it upon herself to deepen our affections by cupping the back of my head and pressing her lips once, twice, three times against my own until I opened my mouth to her tongue.

  Livvie’s kisses had gone from shy to ravenous during the course of our relationship. I was surprised to discover my growing taste for Livvie’s forwardness. She’d had such a demure nature in the past and I’d loved to play The Wolf to her Little Red Riding Hood. I hoisted her up into my arms and she wrapped her legs around my waist. A mother hurried her children past and called us disgusting. I grabbed Livvie’s ass and squeezed before I pulled away from the kiss and set her down. I tugged my coat down.

  “I’d only kiss my boyfriend like that,” she panted and giggled. I gave her one more kiss and managed to keep it chaste.

  “I accept. These lips officially belong to me, and mine they will remain. If I find them anywhere near another man, he better be kin to you.” I was entirely serious.

  “You manage to say the most romantic things in the creepiest way possible. If I didn’t know you, I’d be scared of you,” she said with a smile and a wink.

  “Oh, I’m still scary.”

  “Not to me,” she whispered. I felt a little pinch in my chest.

  “It’s only acceptable from you.” I tilted my chin toward the shop I had mentioned earlier. “Should we do some actual shopping on this shopping trip or are we only out to pervert young children?”

  “Can’t we do both?” she said with such seriousness I had to struggle to keep a straight face. Did other couples banter as much? I didn’t think so.

  We returned to Livvie’s apartment with as many bags as we could manage. There had been some trepidation on Livvie’s part over allowing me to pay for our purchases, but I was quick to point out it was my right as her boyfriend to shower her with gifts. I’d missed the opportunity to court her properly, I had said, and it was only fair to allow me to make up for it. I felt fifteen hundred Euros was a sufficient overture for one day.

  She had purchased bags, shoes, cocktail dresses, new gloves, and enough lingerie to keep me ripping them off of her for a few weeks. There was a particular pair of lacy thong panties I couldn’t wait to chew my way through. Oh, and a red negligee without breast cups that was of particular interest to me. I had looked for a red cape to go with it but came up empty. The urge to hunt down Little Red would have to wait.

  “Are you hungry?” Livvie asked. I could barely hear her as I set the bags in the living room. Livvie had made her way toward the bedroom.

  “Yes,” I called out, “but I don’t think you have anything in your cupboards worth—”

  “Then get in here and eat my pussy!” Livvie interrupted.

  “You little bitch,” I muttered under my breath and laughed. She got me. “You’re going to pay for that, Pet!” I yelled as I made my way toward the bedroom while divesting myself of my gloves, coat, and shirt. “I’m going to wash your filthy mouth out with cock.” I heard the shower running in the adjoining bathroom. I kicked off my shoes, pulled on my belt, and slid the rest of my clothing down my legs and off.

  “Ooooh, I’m soooo scared,” Livvie taunted. She was already in the shower and soaping the parts I fully intended to put in my mouth. Ingredients for Mind-numbingly Sexy: 1 Livvie, Just add water.

  I wasted no time once I stepped into the shower. I grabbed Livvie by her wet hair and tugged her back toward the shower wall. The water was hot and it stung my cold skin. I liked the burn.

  “Who do you think you are, ordering me around? Didn’t I teach you better?” I licked a hot, wet trail up the side of her neck while I slid my cock against her belly.

  “It didn’t stick,” she panted hotly near my ear. “Teach me again.”

  Her words made my pulse race. There had been moments between us in Mexico when I had witnessed glimpses of Livvie’s brazenness. However, that’s exactly what they had been—glimpses. The Livvie I had been dating was worlds beyond the Livvie I had held captive. After a lifetime of being subjugated or, conversely, crushing the disobedience out of others, it shocked me how much I enjoyed the back and forth.

  Yet, for all that Livvie seemed determined to push my buttons, her actions told a different tale. I was beginning to see that her words were less about putting me in my place and more about forcing me into a course of action that would lead me to behave… ungentlemanly.

  “It’s that mouth of yours.” I kissed her softly and I could almost sense her annoyance after expecting something rougher. “It gets you into trouble every time.” Another soft kiss, and another.

  Livvie made frustrated little sounds. She tried to lean in and deepen the kiss but I selected that moment to remind her of my fist firmly embedded in her hair. She winced.

  “Did that hurt?” I whispered against her lips and left another weak kiss. She made another frustrated sound and I felt the warmth of her hands on my hips urging me toward her. I lifted my free hand and traced her open lips with my fingertip. “I asked you a question, Pet. I expect you to answer it.”

  Livvie’s fingers pressed deeper into my hips. Her eyes were gently closed. For whatever reason, she could never seem to handle the directness of my gaze. I allowed it only because I enjoyed the way she abandoned her self-control whenever she couldn’t see. I thought of all the times I had blindfolded her to achieve the same results. Her tongue licked suggestively at my finger as it circled her lips. She had never been so blatant in Mexico, not without first being reminded of her need to survive. Things were different. She wanted me. She wanted to give herself to me. I felt unworthy to accept such a gift, but it didn’t stop me from clutching it fiercely to my chest.

  Long seconds passed without an answer.

  “Do what you’re going to do.” Her voice was thick with lust.

  I pulled her down by her hair slowly but with the force of my grip behind it. She went down easily, with only a small startled yelp to suggest her surprise.

  “I said I was going to wash your mouth out with cock.” I wrapped my hand around my hardened flesh and traced her lips with the tip. “Open up.”

  I licked my own lips as the lust thrumming though my body grew in intensity. I watched Livvie’s lips purse defiantly. She placed soft kisses on the head of my cock and slowly worked down the shaft. It was nice to look at, but it offered no satisfaction. If she wanted a lesson, I was obliged to give her one. I tapped her face with my erection and she smiled wickedly. I gripped her hair rough and she gasped, allowing me to put myself inside.

  Warmth. I was surrounded by it. It was a warmth that vibrated with every surprised murmur Livvie tried to make. I thrust into it in degrees. I watched as Livvie’s lips stretched over my flesh and inches of me disappeared into the heat of her willing mouth. I delved deeper, until teeth scraped the sides of my cock and Livvie’s throat contracted around me. Yes! Right there.

  I know there are a lot of women who don’t like sucking dick, but god, do I love the ones who do. For a moment I felt adrift in the sensation of Livvie’s warm, wet, and tight mouth wrapped around my cock. The sensation was almost painful to pull away from. Every instinct in my body was insisting that I push harder, deeper, keep fucking—but I didn’t. I pulled out quickly. Livvie was gasping. Loudly. A long trail of spit connected her flushed lips to the tip of my cock.

  “More?” I asked. Livvie nodded and I pushed forward again. She sucked and my thighs started to quake.

  There was only so much I could do to keep myself from getting too rough. I pulled my hands away from Livvie and my cock and placed them on the wall in front of me. I felt more than heard Livvie’s grateful sigh. I was rewarded further when her hands roamed from my hips to my ass and she pulled me deeper into her mouth.

  “Fuck!” I let myself sta
y. I wanted to stay. It felt so fucking good. Livvie’s gag reflex kicked in and I pulled away quickly. More gasping. More spit.

  Livvie opened her eyes as she caught her breath. There were tears in her eyes, but I knew she wasn’t crying. She was wanton. Her head came forward and rubbed against my thigh in supplication. It’s difficult to process all the things I feel when Livvie expresses herself this way. If I were a wolf, I would howl. If I were a lion, I would roar. If we lived in the jungle, I would bring her a wolf and a lion to feast on.

  I reached down and stroked her wet head. She tilted her face into my hand, eyes pleading, her mouth leaving kisses in my palm. I had a thought: Does she love me, or does she love all the things I do to her?

  “Tell me what you want,” I said. It wasn’t a question. Livvie’s eyes had not left mine and it was easy to see the sudden vulnerability in them.

  “To make you happy,” she said. She seemed unsure, though I couldn’t guess why.

  “I’m happy,” I said. I knew I could push her further, but I wasn’t up for the repercussions. I pulled her up onto her shaky legs and finally gave her the proper kiss she’d been wanting. As I broke the kiss I said, “Turn around and spread your legs.”

  She did as I asked while I rearranged my larger frame in the small space. Livvie’s shower was really only meant for one person. I managed to sit on the shower floor with her thighs spread over my face. I kissed her clit once before I slid my tongue inside her and made her come.

  As she came apart above me, I guided her down my body until she finally sat on my cock. The void in me shuddered. It was enough, I told myself. Everything Livvie and I had was enough. I paid no attention to the void when it sang: For now.

  Livvie and I kissed. We fucked.

  The void was silent.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Paris is a lovely city, even in the winter. It’s a delightful mix of the old and new. It’s one of the only places you can see a five-hundred-year-old building with a Starbucks inside. However, as the world’s most popular city to visit, the congestion of tourists does detract some from the experience. At least, it did for me. I don’t like people as a general rule, and I like them even less when they’re pressed against me in a crowded space.

  It was our second day in Paris and Livvie had insisted that we visit the Louvre Museum. Thanks to some generous tipping, we managed to circumvent the line to see the Mona Lisa but not the throngs of people already inside.

  “I wish we could see it better. All that glass makes it hard to see the details. Still pretty cool, though. What do you think?” Livvie looked up and craned her neck back to see me.

  I scowled (it’s something I do a lot apparently).

  “I think this asshole behind me should take his blurry photo and stop bumping into me before I decide to do some performance art with his face.”

  Livvie’s smile turned into a judgmental pout.

  “It’s crowded, Sexy. Guy can’t help it. At least we’re up front. Last time I was here, I was sort of in the middle and I couldn’t see over the people. I kept getting pushed from every side. I finally just turned around and left.” She leaned against the small barricade to get a closer look.

  “Well, that idea has promise.” I glared at the man behind me while Livvie wasn’t looking. He held up his hand and dipped his head as he apologized. He was so nice about it I actually felt bad for being angry. This was the effect of being with Livvie. The old me would have said, Yes, you’re sorry. Now fuck off.

  There was a swat to my chest and I turned back toward Livvie, who had apparently caught me.

  “Be. Nice. I don’t want to be carted off to Les Mis jail in my fancy clothes. The lesbians will eat me alive.” She grinned.

  “Two puns in one joke,” I said with a blasé tone. “Bit of an overreach. Also, it’s pronounced lay, not les.”

  “Whatever, it was funny.” Livvie blushed and cuddled into my chest. I finally had to chuckle. It took me a long time to realize how adept Livvie is at managing my moods. She’d made me forget I was angry and she’d done it without my knowing.

  I took her hand and navigated our way through the crowd so that we might visit other, less inhabited, exhibits. Like most people, I don’t know art, but I know what I like. For my part, I appreciated some of the “less superior” pieces more than the Mona Lisa. I didn’t find her smile that mysterious, to be honest. I enjoyed Guiseppe Arcimboldo’s Autumn much more. The artist incorporated fruits and vegetables to create a portrait of a man. It made me think about life and death. All things ripen and die. I thought about being twenty-seven. Knowing one’s age had consequences.

  After the Louvre, we ate lunch at a small café within walking distance of the museum. The hotel provided a courtesy chauffeur, but Livvie insisted it was cheating to utilize such services. Walking was certainly more Parisian and therefore necessary to our tourist experience. I was no stranger to walking, but I shared no such thoughts on the subject.

  By the time we reached the Eiffel Tower by way of the Arc de Triomphe, I was ready to throw Livvie into a taxi. But of course, we had to reach the top of the tower. Livvie—being the beautiful, young, and spry girl she is—was still full of energy and smiles. It was just her luck (and my misfortune) that her joy seemed to be infectious and kept me from voicing my growing disdain for tourist traps.

  “Awesome! The elevator is working this time,” Livvie said.

  I pulled her away from the ticket window before the line turned on her.

  “Sorry, Kitten, but I’m not getting in that thing. What if it breaks down? Do you really want to be jammed into a tiny box with dozens of strangers? The idea doesn’t appeal to me.” I don’t like cramped spaces of the non tight, wet, and warm variety.

  “Aww, are you claustrophobic?” Livvie made a mockingly sad face.

  “Watch yourself, Kitten. I’d hate to have to spank your ass in front of all these people.” I tugged her close and delivered a firm slap to her behind. Someone giggled as they walked past. Livvie laughed.

  “I can’t believe you just did that.”

  “I plan on doing a lot more later,” I whispered in her ear and bit it for good measure. She squealed and pulled away. “I just hope I have the energy after I climb all these damn stairs.”

  “Really? The stairs?” At last it was Livvie who was whining about doing things the hard way.

  “Yes. The stairs. And it serves you right for having me walk all over Paris. I hope your thighs get nice and sore on the way up. It’ll make things that much more interesting when I make you squat over me later.” She scrunched up her nose