Epilogue Read online

  In the quiet hotel room, with Livvie only a short span away, I stared into her unflinching eyes and once again read the message. I wouldn’t be able to take what I wanted this time. This time, I had to earn her surrender.

  “I don’t want this night to end,” I said. I wanted to make myself as clear as possible. Whatever she decided to do after that was fine.

  “So… what then?” She raised her hand to her mouth and tugged gently at her lip. Her eyes had a mischievous glint.

  “Well, the way I see it, you have three options: You can make me very sad by asking me to drive you home. You can take pity on me and spend the night. Or you can admit you want me to fuck you until you beg for mercy.” I leaned back and put my arms around the sofa. I let her see how hard I was for her, how much I wanted to be inside her.

  She inhaled sharply. Her cheeks reddened. A quick glance downward revealed her toes, curled tightly.

  “You… still have a way with words.” Her voice was breathy, but confident.

  “Just laying it out for you.” I winked at her. I felt pretty confident about which of the three options she would choose. However, she has a way of throwing in her own surprises.

  “I still have the pepper spray,” she teased.

  “Kinky.” We laughed.

  I knew she wanted me. It was written all over her face. It was in the way she licked her lips in preparation for being kissed, the way her eyes seemed to go dark. I had a moment of hesitation. I wasn’t sure what role she wanted me to play. On the one hand, it would have given me pleasure to tell her what to do. I liked being in control. I liked knowing she’d obey me of her own free will. On the other, I wasn’t sure how my dominance would be accepted. The last thing I wanted to do was scare her away. I didn’t want to remind her there had been a time she hadn’t had a choice.

  “So, what’s it going to be, Pet?”

  She raised a brow.

  “Pet?” She didn’t seem put off by the moniker, despite the gentle warning in her tone.

  “Force of habit,” I whispered unapologetically. Slow and easy it is.

  “You have a lot of bad habits, Caleb.”

  “But not all my habits are bad, are they?” I let my hand rest on my dick. Her eyes followed my movements. She swallowed.

  “No. There’s a few I’m quite fond of.” She met my eyes and held me captive.

  “Do tell,” I suggested.

  “Give me time, Caleb. I will. But… tonight? I just need you to know I’m not the scared girl you remember.” She brought her knees down and opened her legs. Her dress hid what was beneath, but her message was clear as she placed her hand on her pussy.

  My heart beat erratically, spurred by her seduction. Beneath my own hand, my cock strained against my zipper.

  “I remember you were brave,” I managed to say beyond the lust clogging my throat.

  “I remember you liked to watch me touch myself.” She inched her dress up her thighs. Her short, blunt fingernails left faint red trails along her smooth tan skin. “I remember I liked watching you too.” She shifted down and rested her head on the arm of the sofa.

  I was beside myself. My mouth was dry—too many open-mouthed breaths. My chest felt bruised by the incessant pounding of my heart. Lower down, my flesh was rigid and surrendering its first clear droplets of seed.

  “I’d like to do a hell of a lot more than watch.” I leaned forward and was met with instant resistance. Livvie’s foot pushed against my chest and urged me back against the sofa.

  “We do it my way. Or not at all,” she threatened playfully.

  I knew a battle I couldn’t win when I encountered it. I tilted my head toward Livvie in deference.

  “I can accept that.” I resumed my previous posture. “I await your every whim.” I baited her with my smile.

  “Good.” She relaxed. Her fingers trailed lightly over her pussy. “You show me yours… and I’ll show you mine.”

  I laughed softly. If it were possible to care for her any more, I wasn’t sure I could stand it.

  “Hmm,” I sighed and unzipped my jeans. “As I recall, shyness was your obstacle, not mine.” I quickly undid my pants and opened them. My lust intensified as my cock hit the air. I resisted the urge to touch it. I took great satisfaction in hearing Livvie gasp. To her credit, she composed herself quickly.

  “Very nice, Caleb. I know we’re both in the process of becoming something else, but it’s nice to know there are a few things that will never change.” She lifted her knee closest to the couch. Her dress rode up toward her waist. She spread her legs and revealed her naked pussy. She hadn’t been wearing any underwear!

  I reached for my dick and squeezed it. I wasn’t in any danger of embarrassing myself; the impulse was simply too much to ignore. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. I stroked myself once, twice, and stilled my hand.

  “You’re fucking beautiful.”

  She blushed.

  “Thank you. So are you.”

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about being called beautiful, but I took the compliment. I had much more interesting things on my mind.

  “What now? I have to be honest; I’m not sure I can sit here and watch you play with yourself. I don’t have the self-control.”

  “Would you force me?” she whispered. Her fingers parted her pussy, revealing how pink and wet she was.

  “Fuck! No. But I’d be really childish about it.” I stuck out my bottom lip and she laughed.

  “Oh my god,” she said through a smile. “You’re making this really difficult. Don’t ruin my fantasy.”

  I composed my face.

  “I’m sorry. Go on. Far be it from me to deny you another fantasy. I was so fond of the last one.” I watched her mouth and remembered the way her lips slid over my cock. “Maybe we could relive that one too?”

  “Maybe,” she teased. “If I come over there, will you put your arms on the couch and keep them there?”

  I swallowed.

  “I’ll try.” I raised my arms to the back of the sofa and gripped it. I’m hard again just remembering how sexily she crawled across the sofa toward me. Livvie is a predator in her own right.

  My eyes drifted shut at the first touch of her hand against my chest. I knew she could feel how hard my heart was beating. I might have been more nervous than she was. Her dress was soft as it caressed my aching cock.

  “Your dress is going to get ruined. Take it off,” I whispered as enticingly as I was able.

  “Shh,” she whispered against my ear. The smell of her skin infiltrated my senses. I held tighter to the sofa. “I want it just like this.” Her thighs straddled mine and her wet pussy made contact with my dick. I thrust upward. I couldn’t help it.

  “Goddamn it, Kitten! Just let me fuck you already.” I was ready to abandon all chivalry and self-control. I was ready to rip her damn clothes off and bury myself so deep she’d forget we were ever separate people. The only thing that stopped me was the sudden pain of Livvie pulling on the tie holding my hair back. Once free, she buried her hands in my hair. She pulled my head back and the pain refocused my attention. Her eyes were nearly black, her pupils wide with desire. She was enjoying herself. I didn’t want to stop her.

  She placed soft kisses against my mouth as she spoke.

  “Please, Caleb. Let me. You’re still in control.” Her hips moved against me. Her pussy was hot against my cock. “You’re bigger, stronger. I know that. It turns me on that you’d let me do this to you. You’d never let me before.”

  I held tight to that damn sofa because I suddenly knew why it was so important for her to have the upper hand between us. This encounter was not about earning her surrender—it was about surrendering myself. She was testing me and I refused to fail.

  “Okay, Livvie.” I panted against her mouth. “We’ll do it your way.” Her tongue invaded my mouth and we kissed.

  “You can call me Kitten if you want to. I miss it,” she crooned. She didn’t give me a chance to respond before her tongue
was in my mouth again. There was no protest when I rocked against her.

  Finally, she seemed to have enough of her own teasing. She leaned back quickly and reached behind her neck to undo the buttons. Accomplished quickly, her ample breasts, complete with pebbled nipples came into view. I licked my lips as I stared at them.

  “Give me,” I insisted.

  With her hands on my shoulders, she raised herself up onto her knees. My dick felt cold without her heat. Only the promise of her breasts in my face was enough to quell my disappointment. Livvie is soft, ridiculously soft, and the flesh of her breasts against my face was a feeling just this side of heaven. I placed kisses on one and then the other, ignoring her non-verbal cues for my mouth on her nipples. I could be a damn tease too!

  “Caleb!” she said with some irritation. I smiled.

  “Yes, Kitten?”

  “Please.” She held her breast and ran her nipple across my mouth. “Suck on me.”

  I opened my mouth and pulled her into it. She tasted even better than she smelled. I sucked harder than I probably should have, too driven by my lust to stop. Livvie’s arms wrapped around my head, forcing me closer, not letting me move away—though I had no intention of it. I softened my suckling. I let my tongue flick at her nipple, slowly and repeatedly. I made her insist on more.

  Livvie was slow and maddeningly calculated in her seduction of me. Though she writhed against my chest, all but begging me to take control, she let me know I wasn’t to move my arms away from their resting place. She fed me one breast and then the other. She liked watching me, she reminded. For as much as we both wanted things to be different, our history could never be erased. I knew she was punishing me for the things I’d done. As far as punishments went, I knew I was getting off too easy.

  Pulling away slowly, she slid her body down my chest and put her head on my shoulder. She moaned once she made contact with my cock again. I just managed to keep my body from responding. I was ready. I was more than ready. I wanted to touch her. It was beginning to feel unreasonable that I couldn’t.

  “I’m nervous,” she whispered against my neck.

  “Don’t be. All you have to do is tell me I can touch you.” I was close to doing it anyway.

  “No. I’m still mad at you.” She laughed softly.

  “Someone once told me you shouldn’t let vendettas run your life.”

  “She probably never had you like this.” She lifted her head and watched me. “If she knew revenge could be as sweet as this, she’d never stop seeking it out.” I smiled.

  “Let’s hope not.”

  I lost all logical thought as I felt Livvie’s hand travel down my chest toward her spread thighs and my cock. I let my head fall back when I felt her tentative fingers wrap around my flesh and guide me toward her pussy. She was so hot, so wet, and the pressure required to get the tip inside her hinted at how tight she would be.

  “Livvie,” I said insistently. “Please let me touch you.”

  Her soft lips kissed my throat.

  “Tell me again how much you missed me.” Her hips rocked back and forth, trying to accommodate more of me. She whimpered but wouldn’t admit her difficulty.

  I lifted my head and looked at her. Her face was a mixture of pleasure and pain, yet her eyes remained determined. I swallowed thickly.

  “I missed you every day, Kitten. Every. Fucking. Day.” I raised my hips and felt myself slide into her a little deeper.

  “Oh! God!” She pitched forward and held on to me. “Caleb,” she sighed. She was panting already. “Take it easy. I haven’t done this in a while.”

  Her words brought me up short. I found myself suddenly jealous and angry. I was reluctant to show it. I didn’t have a right to my anger, except it didn’t matter—it was there. I stopped moving.

  Livvie gained her breath and slowly rocked against me again. I tried to ignore the pleasure it brought me to gain further entrance into her body. She smiled at me and I scowled.

  “Don’t be mad, Caleb.” She slid up a little on my dick and let her bodyweight push me deeper on the way down. I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped me. “I meant you. Not since you.”

  My chest seemed to expand and contract in unison. It was barbaric, selfish, and nevertheless, I didn’t give a shit. Livvie belonged to me. Yes, I’d been with other women since her. In my heart, they had counted for nothing. I broke my promise, but still surrendered. I surrendered to Livvie’s power over me. I surrendered to the havoc she unleashed on my control. I raised one of my hands and pulled Livvie’s face toward mine. I needed to be inside of her. I needed my tongue in her mouth and my cock in her body like I needed my next breath.

  We moaned into one another’s mouths as our bodies instinctively moved against each other. I moved my other arm off the sofa and wrapped it around Livvie’s waist. I had her pinned against me. A dark thrill rushed through me as I yielded to my primal nature to conquer.

  I stopped kissing her and held her still as I bent my knees and thrust into her. I heard her cry out, but she didn’t ask me to stop. Her arms wrapped tightly around my head. I thrust again, and again, until at last, I felt the whole of me inside her tight heat.

  I felt incapable of speech. I had wanted her for so long. I had dreamt of her in my sleeping hours and ached for her in my waking ones. There was nothing I could say to compare with the intense elation and satisfaction of finally having that which I had desired for so very long. Nothing except—

  “I love you.”

  I didn’t intend to say the words. I knew she wasn’t ready to hear them. However, I’d been waiting to tell her since the moment I watched her leave and I couldn’t hold it in a minute longer.

  Livvie burst into tears and held me tighter to her chest to keep from meeting my eyes.

  “Don’t stop,” she sobbed. She moved her body, sliding herself up and down my cock in a rhythm that demanded I keep pace. I was at a loss for what to do. It seemed I’d done and said enough already, so I did the only thing I could: I did as I was told.

  Pressed so close to Livvie’s chest, it was easy to find my way to her breasts again. I put my mouth around one of her nipples and resumed my previous attentions. I palmed her ass in both hands. I was rewarded with moans and sighs instead of sobs. All the while, I felt her pussy trying to accommodate me further. Her wetness came more freely after a moment. Her muscles relaxed. I could move faster, push harder, and go deep on every forward thrust. The sound of my balls making contact with her wet flesh, her moans above me, the heat and tightness surrounding me—it all spurred me toward my crisis.

  “More, Caleb. Oh, god, please!” Her words were a high-pitched plea. Her movements were frantic and disjointed. She was chasing an orgasm that wouldn’t come and then came too hard and fast.

  I fucked her through her climax. Her pussy contracted around me, her muscles were rigid, and her sounds begged me to slow down. I couldn’t. I kept pounding into her until her orgasm subsided and she collapsed limply against me.

  “Please, Caleb,” she panted against my ear. Her breasts were sweaty and they slid against my chest. Beneath my sweater, I was caked in sweat too. I wasn’t going to stop to take it off. “Slow down.” I knew she had to be tender, especially after she’d come so hard. I forced myself to slow. “Yes,” she sighed contentedly, “I like that. Fuck me just like that.”

  “Stop saying fuck,” I panted. “Or I won’t be able to slow down.”

  She giggled.

  “I’m sorry. You bring it out of me.” She found her way to my lips and kissed me. After a while, her movements fell into rhythm with mine. She pushed down as I thrust up. She pulled away when I did, only to meet me with equal force.

  “God, you feel good,” I murmured against her mouth. I delighted in her mewling whimper and increase in pace. I hadn’t forgotten her silent rejection. Truth be told, it stung like a motherfucker, but I knew it wasn’t the time to bring it up. I’d made that mistake already.

  “Fuck me,” she said though harsh br
eaths.

  “Beg me,” I demanded. Two could very well play this game.

  “Please, Caleb.” She held my face in her hands and looked into my eyes. If I had found my primal nature, Livvie had also found hers. Her need was unmistakable. Her lust intoxicating. “Please fuck me with your huge fucking cock. I want to watch you come.” She slid her eyes shut and moved her body harder and faster.

  She certainly knew how to push my buttons. I only hoped she wouldn’t regret it. I held her with one arm as I raised us off the sofa and pushed her onto her back. I finally reached for my sweater and pulled it off. I pushed my jeans down to my knees while I was as it. There was a moment of resistance on her part that quickly evaporated as I pushed myself in to the hilt.

  “Again, Kitten. Beg me.” Braced on one arm and holding her outer thigh, I watched myself fuck her. Remembered words made me smile. She was just right shade of pink. I glanced up and watched her breasts moving to the rhythm of my thrusts.

  “Please, Caleb.”

  I couldn’t hold back any longer, but I wasn’t sure I should come inside her.

  “Where do you want me to come?”

  Livvie’s eyes pierced me with their intensity.

  “Wherever you want.”

  It hit me before I had a chance to decide. My balls drew up tight and I started coming. I tried to watch Livvie, but my eyes couldn’t stay open. I was lost to the feeling of being emptied, of being received into Livvie’s body.

  Somewhere outside myself I knew Livvie was speaking. I couldn’t hear her clearly until my orgasm slowly subsided. I opened my eyes and looked down. Her hand was between us, touching the place we were joined.

  “Mine,” I heard her say. Nothing had ever been truer.

  “Yours,” I said.

  CHAPTER THREE

  I dreamt that night.

  Rafiq looked up at me from a table. He was shaking from fear. His face was bruised and bloody. He spoke calmly.

  “Me for the girl?”

  A ripple of love was fast on the heels of my shame. The feeling was quickly overrun by an old anger, a rage that had kept me alive when death had been a far better option.

  “No. Not just for the girl. You… made me love you. You betrayed me.”

  Rafiq laughed, loud and rich, before his laughter devolved into gurgling coughs.

  “Betrayal again. It’s always betrayal with you, Khoya.” His words sounded in my mind as though he were flesh and blood again. “You lie, boy. I didn’t make you love me. One cannot force love. What you gave, I earned.”

  I held a knife in my hand; I knew I did. However, as is the nature of dreams, it disappeared once I tried to plunge it into his thigh. I had so much anger, so much rage, and nowhere to put it. Rafiq found it more than amusing and it only fueled my hatred.

  “I gave you all you earned when I put a bullet in your heart!”

  Rafiq coughed up blood as he laughed.

  “You are the man I raised.” Slowly, his laughter subsided and he looked on me fondly. “I know you washed my body. I know you buried me in accordance with the law. I know you wept for me.”

  His words wounded me despite knowing there was no way for him to know I did those things. Worse, it hurt knowing they were true.

  “Why won’t you die?” I asked with venom. Rafiq smiled wickedly.

  “You can’t kill me, Khoya. Not again. I’m all you know. I am your mother. I am your father. I am your brother. I am your friend. I’ll always be here. You’ll never be rid of me.”

  As much as I loathed it, I was free to weep in my dreams and I did.

  “How could you have done all those things to me? You stole my childhood. You stole my destiny.”

  Rafiq, suddenly unfettered, rolled onto his side and sat up. The bruises on his face had healed and clothing had magically appeared on his body.

  “That’s not what’s bothering you, Caleb. I betrayed you, yes, but that’s not why you killed me, is it?” I couldn’t look at him while I processed my shame. “You would have killed me anyway. You would have killed me because it’s the only way I would have let the girl go. You would have betrayed me, Khoya. We are not so different, and that’s what eats at you.” He raised a hand and ruffled my hair as he used to when I was young. My chest ached.